Reasons why people should never go on holidays...

I'm back from a family holiday in the Andaman Islands. And like all middle class Indians I'm trying to prepare a balance sheet of net losses and gains. And I'm really shocked to discover that what I thought were gains are actually devastating losses...

a. The packing. What to take and what to leave behind. I can never get this right. If it's going to be a warm place should I only take noodle strap tees or should I throw in some shirts for that evening chill? Should I pack only casuals or should I be prepared for some formal outing, maybe a special occasion dress for an evening out?? The stress is enough to kill me and usually I spend days thinking about it and keep changing my mind till the last minute. Inevitably I always pack the wrong things. This time I packed in skirts instead of shorts and a pouch full of accessories like danglers and high heeled shoes. Hence a considerable amount of time was spent keeping my skirt down against the wind and I can say with guarantee the deer and monkeys in the backwaters were terribly impressed with my choice of jewellery...

b. The effect on health. Ten days of no gymming combined with gastronomical splurging doesn't come without a price. End result: The bulge is showing at all the wrong places. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels...Wish I had thought of this golden maxim while ordering exotic dishes exploding with calories.

c. The snapshots. You go to a place. You want to capture its beauty and treasure the wonderful moments for posterity. Fine. But how can you do it if you lug around a heavy camera/ video recorder/ phone and constantly think of angles that would look good on your profile? And after you've looked at the sunset through a lens and posed around for a hundred pictures you sit and pour over them, ruthlessly deleting the ones which show your unflattering wrinkles or catch your double chin. Is this the memory that I want to preserve? Who am I trying to fool? And the sunset is really hazy because all I can remember is fiddling with the camera!

d. The insecurity. While you are on holiday and traveling there is always a fear of losing your identity papers, misplacing your wallet, getting robbed, losing your luggage, missing flights and trains, getting stranded in unknown places, getting bitten by insects and dogs, getting drunk and sometimes even forgetting your manners. I forgot to tip a very nice waiter. How idiotic is that?

e. The aftermath. In the end it all comes down to the net result. What did I get out of it? Frankly, things are not adding up as they should. I'm back after having spent a fortune, picked up a patchy tan (thanks to the sunscreen I misplaced midway), caught a cold on the flight home from a sniffling co passenger with very bad oral hygiene and the not so happy prospect of spending the next two days unpacking, washing and uploading pictures that nobody is really interested in. Other people's memories are boring they say...

I think the balance sheet definitely is a negative one. You take a call if I am right or wrong.