Panda bears’ secret…!

Last week the keepers at the Scotland zoo were in a fix. They’d been trying to induce two giant panda bears to mate with little success. After a lot of careful planning and monitoring with hormones, personal likes and dislikes they found a brief half hour window when the two could mate. The setting was supposed to be perfect. The only trouble was the window couldn’t be extended because the pair can’t stand each other beyond fifteen minutes. They become aggressive. So the stage was set and when all the planets were in position and the physics, chemistry and biology at the optimal level, the keepers like kingmakers let the two main characters loose on stage. Well, what do you know? The window of lovemaking came and went without a single spark of romance in the air. The pandas were like ‘duh… we’re not interested!’
Question of the day: What is the missing ingredient? Can you really plan to fall in love? Is love only about hormones and the time of the month? That’s so lame, isn’t it? Maybe the panda he bear has a poor sense of humour. Maybe the lady didn’t like the way his mustache grows and he got put off by her monosyllabic grunts. Or maybe he started the conversation with an anecdote about his ex which really put her off and made her reach for his throat and the keepers for their alarm bells…